


Baby Write This Down

by canyousonicmedoctor



Series: Swan Queen AU Week [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Explicit Language, F/F, Swan Queen Week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-08 02:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyousonicmedoctor/pseuds/canyousonicmedoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Floating around foster homes didn’t give her much time to get settled in at a school so she just didn’t bother. What was the point in worrying about grades when she knew she was going to have to start over in a completely different school within a year or so?</p><p>That attitude had carried over into college for the most part. She did enough to scrape by because she actually had to earn her financial aid but that’s where her achievements ended. Until she got put into Miss Mill’s class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Tell Me Yours, I'll Tell You Mine

**Author's Note:**

> For the Swan Queen Week Day 4 prompt Student/Teacher AU. It's really short but I didn't have that much time to write it. I might add more to this later depending on feedback/how I feel. Maybe leave a comment if you want me to continue it?

Emma was never one for school much. 

Floating around foster homes didn’t give her much time to get settled in at a school so she just didn’t bother. What was the point in worrying about grades when she knew she was going to have to start over in a completely different school within a year or so?

That attitude had carried over into college for the most part. She did enough to scrape by because she actually had to earn her financial aid but that’s where her achievements ended. Until she got put into Miss Mill’s class.

Emma never paid more attention or put more effort into her work than she did in that class. She wasn’t even that great in English but she sure tried her hardest to impress Miss Mills in the only way she was sure would at least get her to notice.

In class, Emma found that she had no interest in dozing off or daydreaming as she normally did. All of her attention was on the beautiful woman pacing back and forth in front of the class. Miss Mills’ commanding attitude demanded attention and respect and Emma was far from immune. She struggled to focus on what her teacher was saying instead of getting lost staring at her lips and wondering what it would feel like to press those lips to her own.

She was looking down at her paper taking notes- she quickly found that it was easier to pay attention while not looking at Miss Mills- when she heard the two guys sitting behind her start to whisper.

“I bet she’s fucking awesome in bed,” one of them sniggered. Righteous anger flared up in Emma. She bit down on the side of her cheek to keep from saying anything.

“I wonder if she would pass me if I offered to fuck her,” the other contributed.

“Bitch is so uptight she would probably beg for it.” 

All thoughts of sitting there quietly flew out of the window at the last comment. 

“As if anyone would ever go for misogynistic pigs like you two?” she sneered at them. Apparently her comment was a bit louder than she had thought because it earned her a sharp…

“Miss Swan!” 

Emma cringed and the two boys smirked at her as she turned around to face her teacher. “Yes Miss Mills?” Behind her back she flipped the two idiots off.

“Do you have something you would like to share with the class?” Despite being in trouble she couldn’t keep the thought about how hot Miss Mills looked when she was mad.

“No ma’am.” She responded after a moment. 

“Very well then,” Miss Mills said, giving her a strangely knowing look. “See me after class.”

The rest of the class was spent with a growing mixture of dread at being reprimanded by her favorite teacher and excitement and spending a few moments alone with said teacher.

By the time the class ended Emma had gotten a pretty good grasp on her emotions. She wasn’t going to apologize for what she said because those two had deserved every word. She just hoped Miss Mills understood that.

When the last person shuffled out of the door, Emma stood up from her seat. Miss Mills was watching her carefully. She did her best not to fidget under the intensity of her gaze.

Emma opened her mouth to speak but her teacher beat her to it. “Thank you,” she said simply.

The snap of her jaw was audible as she shut it in surprise. “You’re welcome?” she asked, a bit confused as to what she was being thanked for exactly. “Why are you thanking me? Aren’t you mad I disrupted class or whatever?”

“I heard what the two boys behind you were saying. I was not going to draw attention to it but you intervened,” she explained. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah it’s no problem, Miss Mills,” Emma shrugged, unable to come up with anything better as her mind sung happily. ‘She appreciates it!’ she was cheering in her head.

“It is after class hours,” Miss Mills reminded her. “Please, call me Regina.”

If it were possible, Emma might have just exploded from happiness. She wasn’t entirely sure but being on a first-name basis was probably more than 99% of the class could say. 

“Okay, Mi- Regina.” Emma was grinning but she honestly didn’t care. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

Regina gave her a small smile and shook her head. “Nothing comes to mind, Miss Swan.”

“It’s after class hours, right? Call me Emma.” She parroted the words back to Regina. If she hadn’t been watching as closely as she was, she might have missed the way the corners of her teacher’s mouth quirked up.

“Of course. Have a wonderful rest of your day, Emma.” Regina smiled at her before retreating back into her office. Emma watched Regina walk away with an avid interest fixated somewhere it probably shouldn’t be. Regina turned around quickly and quirked an eyebrow, knowing exactly what Emma was looking at.

Emma blushed furiously and managed a strangled, “Bye!” before rushing out the door. Even with the embarrassment, the meeting left her feeling lighter than she had in a long time.


	2. The River Is So Wide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s the big deal? It’s not like calling me by my first name is the same thing as like kissing me!” She was frustrated and even though she was a bit mortified at the example she gave, she was too mad to care. 
> 
> “No, but I am your professor. We still must remain professional.” Regina was simply glad that she was not facing Emma. That made it easier to hide the blush on her cheeks at the images Emma’s wording had conjured up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many of you guys seemed to like this fic so I'm continuing it! I'm not going to commit to a schedule for updating but I'm going to update at least once a week, probably more, so keep an eye out for it! I hope you all like it ^_^

“You offer tutoring and stuff, right?”

 

Emma had lingered after the rest of the class shuffled their way out of the classroom under the pretence of asking Professor Mills about after school help. Really, she couldn’t care less about getting help, seeing as she normally did rather well in the class. Any opportunity to get her professor’s full attention was not to be wasted.

 

“In a way. I offer to look over student’s work in a one-on-one setting,” Regina said carefully, not wanting to give the wrong impression. “Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to regularly tutor every student.”

 

“Right. Of course,” Emma grinned. “But if I wanted your opinion on my paper, I could bring it by during office hours?” She did her best to not sound as hopeful as she felt.

 

“Absolutely,” Regina nodded. There was a warmth to her voice that wasn’t present during class time. It was probably due to the tentative familiarity they had with each other that had formed over the last two weeks.

 

Almost every class, Emma found an excuse to stay after. Sometimes it was only for a few minutes, just to clear up a nonexistent issue with understanding the homework assignment. One really memorable time Emma had stayed for a full half-hour while she and Regina talked about what Emma wanted to do upon graduating.

 

“Awesome! Are you busy tomorrow?” Emma had to physically slow her heart rate down as she realized how those words would sound out of context.

 

“I’m not busy at all,” Regina smiled. Emma tried not to show just how weak-kneed she became at the sight of her professor’s smile. It was definitely a difficult feat because when Regina smiled she became positively radiant.

 

“Great! So, uh, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Without any other reason to stay, Emma reluctantly began to walk backwards towards the door.

 

“As long as you come to class,” Regina joked. Then Emma realized the mistake she made by not paying attention where she was going. She was clumsy enough normally so why did she think it was a good idea to take away anything else?

 

After finding her foot caught on the leg of one of the desk chairs, Emma fell backwards spectacularly. Her arms pin wheeled out to her sides as she looked for anything to save herself on. Too little, too late, though, as her hip made contact with the ground. Hard.

 

“Shit!” Emma yelled as she hit the floor. Embarrassment and pain formed an unpleasant mixture in her stomach. This was definitely not the impression she was trying to make.

 

“Oh my god.” Regina rushed around her desk to Emma’s side, concern coloring every single one of her features. “Are you alright?” The brunette reached out to help Emma stand up. Emma took the offered hand gratefully. If she wasn’t in such pain she might have wondered at the feeling of the hands slotting perfectly together.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Emma said very unconvincingly. She hissed in pain when she put weight on her leg. It wasn’t unbearable but she definitely banged up her hip well enough to give her no small amount of discomfort. Immediately, Regina was by her side.

 

“No you’re not,” Regina contradicted. “Can you walk alright?” she asked, her hands outstretched as if making sure Emma didn’t fall again.

 

Emma took a couple steps and did her best to ignore the sharp stabs of pain in her hip as she did so. “Yeah, it’s just sore.” There was no mistaking the look of pain in Emma’s eyes.

 

“I won’t have you hurting yourself even more,” Regina said firmly, effectively cutting off any potential protests Emma might have. “Just come sit down for a few minutes until the pain passes.”

 

A part of Emma wanted to say no, if only to escape the embarrassment of the situation. Her goal was definitely not to make Regina want to coddle her. Another part of her was jumping- metaphorically because there was no way Emma was going to see if that hurt- at the chance to spend some time with her professor. Alone time in her office where she was leading Emma at that very moment.

 

Apparently Regina wasn’t even bothering with Emma’s opinion on the matter. It made it much easier for Emma to just go along with it.

 

Regina helped Emma walk, despite the fact that Emma continued to say she was fine. When they made it into her office, she deposited Emma in one of the comfy leather armchairs.

 

“Wait here, Miss Swan,” she ordered, her tone leaving no room for argument. The only part she had a problem with was the last bit.

 

“I thought you were supposed to call me ‘Emma’? It’s after hours, right?” The hurt look that graced Emma’s face was for a very different reason than her hip.

 

Regina paused as she pulled out a small baggie to fill with ice. “I’m sorry about that,” she began. “It was inappropriate for me to insist we use first names.” Emma felt like she had been punched in the gut. There wasn’t even a proper reason for her to feel so hurt by it. But just like every time she was hurt, Emma went with anger over sadness.

 

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like calling me by my first name is the same thing as like kissing me!” She was frustrated and even though she was a bit mortified at the example she gave, she was too mad to care.

 

“No, but I am your professor. We still must remain professional.” Regina was simply glad that she was not facing Emma. That made it easier to hide the blush on her cheeks at the images Emma’s wording had conjured up.

 

Emma rolled her eyes even though Regina couldn’t see and stood up. “Well then I guess this is pretty ‘unprofessional’ too,” she snapped. Before Regina could say anything else she practically stomped towards the door, her pain being masked by her anger, and wrenched it open. “Thanks for the concern, Professor Mills.”

 

Regina stared at the doorway as Emma walked away, utterly speechless and wondering why what had seemed like the right thing suddenly felt like the worst thing she could have done.

* * *

 The next day, Regina really wasn’t expecting to see Emma in class. However, the blonde was sitting in her usual seat in the middle of the room, boring holes into her with her eyes. Regina resisted the urge to look her way for more than a few seconds at a time.

 

She had gotten pretty used to Emma staying after every day, which was one of the reasons she had decided to try and put some distance between them. Their relationship as student and teacher was becoming far too familiar and that kind of thing was dangerous when her student was as beautiful and intelligent as Emma was.

 

Also not expecting Emma to actually stay after for help with her paper, Regina hurried into her office after the end of the class. After waiting a few minutes, resolutely telling herself that she wasn’t hoping for Emma to knock on her door, she went back out to the hall to gather the work the students had turned in that day.

 

She opened her door and instead of being met with an empty classroom, she ran straight into Emma standing outside her office door.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Regina and Emma apologized at the same time; Emma with a crooked smile on her lips and Regina with a surprised flush to her cheeks.

 

Emma held up a hand to get Regina to stop talking for a second. Regina wasn’t one to be silenced easily, but the look on Emma’s face convinced her to listen.

 

“I really am sorry. Not for this- well _for_ this but also for yesterday,” Emma began, rubbing the back of her neck self-consciously. “I shouldn’t have overreacted on you like that. You deserve more respect than that.”

 

After Emma stormed out of the classroom, shame at her behavior set in pretty quickly. No matter what happened between them, there was no justifying taking out her anger on her professor. She spent the rest of her day with a sore hip and a plan to apologize the next day.

 

“Thank you,” Regina smiled softly. The apology was unanticipated but welcome. While she had been avoiding so much as making eye contact with Emma throughout the class, she found that the apology really did help matters.

 

“What can I do for you?” Regina asked quickly when she realized she was staring and neither of them was saying anything to fill the growing silence.

 

“Oh!” Emma said, surprised like she had forgotten the real reason why she was there. “I, uh, brought my paper,” she continued, rooting in her bag for the document. “Do you think you could maybe take a look at it with me?” Emma sounded both hopeful and hesitant at the same time. Regina couldn’t help but smile fondly.

 

“I would be glad to,” she assured the blonde, before gesturing for her to pull a chair up to her desk.

 

Emma didn’t even try to keep her happy grin off her face as she dragged a chair loudly across the linoleum. Even if Regina was insisting on keeping a “professional” distance between them, that certainly didn’t mean that Emma couldn’t hope for a way to change her mind.


	3. It's All About Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Emma,” Ruby nudged her, “now’s your chance!” Emma had barely been listening to Ruby after the girl had downed her third shot and then a margarita. Honestly, she was surprised that Ruby didn’t get alcohol poisoning more often- the girl had no idea how to pace herself.
> 
> “What are you talking about, Rubes?” She pushed her empty beer glass back and forth between her hands. Regina hadn’t gotten up to follow the mystery man out of the bar. Emma tried her best not to feel glad about that.
> 
> “Professor Mills is aaaaall alone now,” she grinned wolfishly. “I bet she wants some company.”

Shaking the rain droplets off her coat, Emma stepped into the warm light of the bar. Her hair and jeans were soaked, her shirt spared only by the cover of her red raincoat. Her best friend Ruby followed in behind her, laughing at whatever joke she had just told.

Chuckling slightly, Emma shrugged out of her coat and led the way over to the bar while surveying the room. The laughter died in Emma’s throat the moment her eyes landed on a particular brunette with a very familiar face.

“Holy shit, that’s Professor Mills!” Ruby crowed and Emma’s cheeks took on a pink tint. Thankfully, Regina hadn’t noticed the pair walking in. 

Immediately, Emma regretted telling Ruby about the crush she had developed on their very attractive professor. While Ruby was very confident in her own heterosexuality, even she had to admit that Professor Mills was really hot. Of course it would turn out that they ended up in the same bar as said professor. 

Emma ushered Ruby over to the bar, as far away from the table Regina was sitting at as possible. “I swear, if you say anything I will actually kill you,” she warned Ruby, glancing over her shoulder at Regina. The woman didn’t seem to be aware of their presence, which was a gift from the heavens, truly. 

“Chill out, Ems,” Ruby assured her. “My lips are sealed.”

“Good.” Emma waved over the bartender and ordered two vodka shots. This was their last free weekend before having to study for finals and Ruby had convinced her that now was the time to get good and wasted. 

Emma looked over her shoulder again. “What do you think she’s doing here anyways?” 

“Professor Mills?” Ruby asked before throwing the shot back. “Maybe she’s on a date,” she teased. Emma resisted the urge to punch her friend in the arm, opting instead to down her own shot. 

“You’re not funny,” she glared. Ruby just grinned unrepentantly and told the bartender to bring them another round. 

By the time the next two drinks were put in front of them, Regina was joined by a scruffy man with wild hair in a leather jacket. “Holy shit, I was right!” Ruby laughed. Emma couldn’t see why this was so funny. “Do you think I can tell the future?” she asked, jokingly.

“No, but I do think you’re a jerk,” Emma huffed, her mood souring immediately at seeing Regina there with someone. 

Ruby held her hands up in defense. “Hey, don’t get all snippy with me just because you’re lusting after our professor.”

Emma sighed and drank her shot. “You’re right, sorry.”

After that, Emma really wasn’t in the mood to be out drinking. She ordered a beer and nursed that even though Ruby was sticking to the vodka shots. It was probably for the best that she be the sober one.

She really had no right to want to go over to Regina’s table and punch the guy in the nose. The jealousy that was burning hot inside of her was unwarranted and unwanted. Clearly, Regina was interested in men. Even with the other things to make Emma wanting to act on her feelings totally wrong, she wasn’t even Regina’s type.

Barely an hour went by before Regina’s “friend” stood up to leave. He didn’t seem to be all that close to her- Emma would know as she had been glancing over her shoulder so many times she was surprised she didn’t have whiplash.

Apparently the outstanding circumstances didn’t do anything to Ruby’s enthusiasm over her crush.

“Emma,” Ruby nudged her, “now’s your chance!” Emma had barely been listening to Ruby after the girl had downed her third shot and then a margarita. Honestly, she was surprised that Ruby didn’t get alcohol poisoning more often- the girl had no idea how to pace herself.

“What are you talking about, Rubes?” She pushed her empty beer glass back and forth between her hands. Regina hadn’t gotten up to follow the mystery man out of the bar. Emma tried her best not to feel glad about that.

“Professor Mills is aaaaall alone now,” she grinned wolfishly. “I bet she wants some company.”

“She was just with someone,” Emma pointed out, incredulous. “Someone she is probably dating, or whatever.”

“Nah, he didn’t even hold her hand,” Ruby disagreed. “Definitely platonic. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind seeing you to liven up her night.” Ruby waggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

“You’re insane.”

“But I’m not drunk. And I’m also going home,” she announced, hopping off her stool. “Don’t you dare follow me.”

“Ruby, sit down,” Emma ordered, somewhat nervous about what the girl wanted to do.

“Emma, this is a one-time chance,” Ruby explained. “You both are adults and you actually really like Professor Mills. You should at least go talk to her.”

“That’s not going to happen. The last time I was alone with her she wouldn’t stop talking about keeping a professional distance and all this other crap,” Emma sighed. “She isn’t even remotely interested.”

“Well now’s your chance to test that theory,” Ruby grinned, unwilling to be deterred from her chosen course of action. “Professor Mills!” she called out across the bar.

“What the hell are you doing,” Emma hissed, panic welling up inside her.

“You’re welcome,” Ruby whispered back as Regina looked their way and smiled. And then got up.

“Oh god, oh god,” Emma glared at Ruby. “I hate you. I hate you so much. You are the worst friend ever and I hate you.” The bartender came to collect her empty glass and smirked knowingly. 

“Maybe you should listen to your friend,” he shrugged.

Ruby just laughed. “You’ll thank me later,” she managed to whisper just as Regina came within earshot. “Hey Professor Mills! Fancy seeing you here.”

“Hello Miss Lucas. Miss Swan,” Regina greeted them, a seemingly genuine smile on her face. 

“Hi Professor Mills,” Emma said, her nerves flaring at the proximity and the unusual setting.

“I was actually just getting ready to go.” Ruby ignored the panicked look Emma shot her. “But you were gonna hang around for a bit, right Em?”

“Well, I was-”

“Excellent!” Ruby cut her off, leaning in and kissing her cheek. “I’ll see you later.” Emma wanted to crawl out of her skin when Ruby winked at her. “Bye Professor Mills!”

“She is quite the whirlwind, isn’t she,” Regina chuckled as Ruby bounced out of the bar.

“That’s one thing to call her,” Emma grimaced. But then Regina was sitting in the stool Ruby had vacated and she felt her bad mood slowly begin to dissipate. “What are you doing here, anyways?”

Regina frowned slightly before ordering a scotch for herself. “If you must know, I was on a blind date.” She sipped the amber liquid. Emma found she couldn’t stop staring at the way her lips pressed against the glass.

‘Keep it together, Swan,’ Emma thought, tearing her eyes away from her professor to order another drink. She really didn’t want to order another beer. It was too much of a stereotypical college kid sort of drink. She didn’t want to seem like a stereotypical college anything around Regina if she could help it.

Making eye contact with the bartender- which included lots of eye widening and glances to the side Regina was on-, the man winked and set about putting together another drink for her. The man seemed pretty decent. She hoped he wouldn’t let her down.

“Oh really?” Emma asked like she hadn’t been watching the brunette ever since she walked in the door. “How did it go?” The bartender placed a stout glass with pink liquid and a cherry on top in front of her. She grinned and took a sip.

“Not very well,” Regina sighed, taking a bigger swig of scotch than before. “Graham was nice but boring and he seemed distracted.” Then she seemed to realize who she was talking to and shook her head. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear all of this.” Regina finished off the remaining scotch in her glass and Mr. Bartender refilled it.

“If I didn’t want to hear about it, I wouldn’t have asked,” Emma promised, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. It seemed like just being in Regina’s company put her in such a good mood, she felt like she could float away. “But that’s his loss, I guess.” 

“You’re too kind,” Regina told her although the cautious look in her eyes gave a different meaning to her words. Emma, however, didn’t notice and with the drinks she’d already had loosening her tongue, she barreled forward.

“I’m just honest,” Emma shook her head. “I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to be with you.” Emma took another large gulp of her drink before continuing. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met,” she finished sincerely, finally meeting Regina’s eyes.

Her disappointment was palpable when she saw the unrestrained panic in her professor’s dark eyes. Maybe it was Emma’s tone or the way her eyes never strayed from Regina’s but suddenly the atmosphere in the bar felt far too heavy for Regina to breathe. 

“Miss Swan,” Regina tried to begin. Instead of finishing her sentence she finished what was left in her glass and stood up. “Excuse me.”

Emma watched Regina flee to the bathrooms with a feeling of being punched in the gut. She wasn’t sure if she was madder at herself for diving into that so early in the night or at Regina for running away. 

“’M such an idiot,” Emma sighed, leaning her head in her hands.

“You just gonna sit there and let her run away?” the bartender asked, leaning against the countertop and giving her an appraising look.

“What else can I do? She obviously doesn’t feel anything for me,” Emma shrugged dejectedly. It was pointless to pretend otherwise.   
“Are you kiddin’?” the bartender chuckled. “I saw the way she was lookin’ at you ever since you walked in this place. That guy she was with didn’t have her attention for a second,” he smirked and collected Regina’s scotch glass.

“Really?” Emma asked, caution and hope infusing her tone.

“Yep. She may be actin’ coy or whatever,” he grinned, “but she couldn’t take her eyes off you. So go get her,” he encouraged, turning around to put away the glass and ending the conversation.

Reaching into her bag, Emma pulled out a twenty and shoved it towards the bartender. “Thanks,” she smiled nervously before getting up and walking as quickly as she could without running towards the bathroom.

Because if Emma knew anything, she knew how to read people. The way Regina glanced at her in class, the way that she smiled, the way that she was never too busy to indulge in Emma’s obvious gambits to spend time with her after class, all added up to the fact that Regina felt something for her. She really didn’t care if it was just lust; she could work with lust. She could have dismissed all of that as her own active imagination. But someone else saw it too and she would be damned if she wasn’t going to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated, as always :)


	4. An Open Hearted Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just say you don’t want this,” Emma began. She didn’t know when she decided to drop her voice to such a hoarse whisper. Whatever the reason, it was far out of her control. “Just tell me that and I won’t bring it up again.”
> 
> Regina stared at her, her eyes roving over Emma’s entire face like the answer she needed to give the blonde could be found there. After what felt like an eternity, Regina still didn’t say a word.

Emma burst through the bathroom door, the sudden bright light making her squint for a second. Once her eyes adjusted she saw Regina standing at the sink. They made eye contact through the mirror.

 

“Regina,” Emma said tentatively. Her professor’s eyes flashed at the use of her first name but she didn’t say a word about it.

 

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” Emma pushed forward, “but I’m not sorry for what I said.”

 

The fear in Regina’s eyes was quickly replaced by anger. “Why?” Her voice was fierce and low, trembling like she was barely able to keep herself from shouting. “Why must you insist on crossing the line?” Regina grew more distressed as she spoke. “I am your  _professor_! It’s wrong.”

 

Emma shook her head in frustration. “What does that matter?” she asked incredulously. “We’re both adults. Consenting adults. If you want this and I want it, nothing else matters!” Emma knew she was being loud but she couldn’t help it. She wanted this more than she had ever wanted anything else in her entire life.

 

Well, maybe not anything, per se. But whatever this was that she felt for Regina, it was a damn close second.

 

As Emma spoke, she stepped closer and close to Regina, approaching slowly like one might approach and easily startled animal. By the time she finished her piece, Regina’s back pressed firmly into the hard corner of the tiled sink. Emma stood close enough to see the exact depth of the little scar on Regina’s upper lip. She couldn’t keep herself from reaching up and tracing the indention with the pad of her thumb.

 

“Just say you don’t want this,” Emma began. She didn’t know when she decided to drop her voice to such a hoarse whisper. Whatever the reason, it was far out of her control. “Just tell me that and I won’t bring it up again.”

 

Regina stared at her, her eyes roving over Emma’s entire face like the answer she needed to give the blonde could be found there. After what felt like an eternity, Regina still didn’t say a word.

 

Emma leaned forward slowly, giving Regina ample time to escape. She wanted Regina to want this as much as she did. She wasn’t going to force her into anything. When the brunette made no attempt to move, Emma cautiously pressed their lips together.

 

The contact seemed to electrify Regina into action. Her hands flew up to dig her fingers into Emma’s shoulders. At first Emma thought she was going to push her away, but instead Regina held her in place as their lips moved together in tandem Emma’s hands dropped to curl into the fabric around Regina’s hips tightly, like the material and the skin underneath was a lifeline.

 

Suddenly, Regina turned them so that Emma was the one being pressed into the sink. Every inch of Regina’s body pressed firmly against hers. Emma’s head spun, but whether it was from the lust generated by the feeling of Regina’s curves against her own, or oxygen deprivation…she wasn’t sure.

 

A whine escaped Emma’s throat when Regina finally pulled back. Both women were out of breath, standing close enough that their chests brushed together whenever one of them inhaled. Emma wondered how it would feel to run her hands over the silky skin she could see peaking out just above Regina’s blouse and perhaps even lower.

 

Before she could find out, Regina groaned and pulled away, “You cannot say things like that,” she admonished. Emma blushed as she realized she spoke aloud. Emma reached for her but Regina took a step back.

 

“I’m sorry,” Regina gave Emma a small apologetic smile. “I just need to think things through. Please, I just need time.”

 

Emma nodded slowly, looking crestfallen but understanding at the same time. It made walking out of the bathroom that much easier. Regina knew she would have to talk to Emma come Monday; she simply needed time to sort through her thoughts and feelings and morals.

 

Emma’s understanding of that made what she had considered the “right thing” before all the more unappealing.

* * *

Emma sat through class on Monday with her head bowed, trying her hardest to not look at her professor. All she wanted to do was get an answer from Regina and she didn’t trust herself to not just stand up and demand one if she looked for too long.

 

Truthfully, Emma wasn’t sure she was ready to hear what Regina had to say. The kiss had been amazing and far more than she had ever expected- but she saw the fear in the brunette’s eyes before and after it. Such a look didn’t bode well for her; she would rather continue living in her fantasy world where everything would be wonderful than have to face the reality of the situation.

 

Of course, Regina noticed the way Emma stared everywhere but at her through the duration of the class. She didn’t know what to make of it and didn’t have much time to dwell on it in front of a room of other students.

 

Despite Emma’s standoffishness, when class was dismissed the blonde was the last person to get up from her desk. Regina wanted to take it as a good sign.

 

She wasn’t one to beat around the bush with anything. Being a teacher had taught her to be direct and confident in what she said and expected. In that moment, with only her and Emma in the room, Regina found she didn’t want to be either of those things. She wanted to duck into her office and not deal with the issues she knew were a priority. She wanted to leave things the way they were and never speak of them again. But she also knew that Emma deserved a straight answer from her.

 

Emma had almost made it to the door when Regina found her voice. “Emma?” she called her back. “Do you have a moment?”

 

Dread and hope warred for dominance on Emma’s face. “Of course,” she answered, possibly just a touch too quickly but Emma was too invested to care. That was her problem; she had been hurt in the past but she didn’t learn. She tried to keep walls up and yet she always was the one to barrel through them just to reach whoever it was on the other side.

 

 Regina smiled slightly but Emma could see how nervous the other woman was. It made her even more nervous. “I guess you’ve had some time to think?”

 

“I have,” Regina nodded slowly. “But I know that this decision does not affect only me. I believe you and I should properly talk about what we want and the consequences of such actions.” She said the words with a confidence that seemed real but only barely masked the anxiety of anticipating Emma’s response.

 

However, the moment Emma smiled broadly at her, she felt the nerves- or a large portion of them- melt away. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” Regina found herself smiling at the happiness in that small phrase. She caught herself before she just stood there grinning like a fool.

 

“Excellent. I would rather not do that here,” Regina began, turning towards her desk to grab a scrap piece of paper. “This,” she wrote out something Emma couldn’t see, “is my home address. I understand if you might be uncomfortable meet-”

 

Emma cut Regina off by grabbing the paper and kissing her once. It was chaste and just a way for Emma to show Regina how happy she really was about this. Being able to actually decide how this would go together was more than she had hoped for.

 

“It’s perfect,” she assured Regina before the professor could speak again. “Can I come by tonight? Around seven?”

 

“That’ll do,” Regina smiled tightly, her nerves back in full swing as the plans were made. Yet she found she couldn’t even bring herself to protest the way Emma had just kissed her like there were no boundaries whatsoever to stop that sort of behavior. They would just have to talk things over that night. “I shall see you then.”

 

Emma nodded and grabbed her things, unable to wipe the grin off her face as she exited the classroom. “See you then.” 


	5. Too Late To Turn Back Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you had dinner?”
> 
> Emma surveyed the large foyer she was standing in. The house was huge, way bigger than any home she had ever lived in. Most current apartment that she shared with two people could probably fit in the space of the foyer. Regina’s voice brought her thoughts back to the present situation, along with the butterflies blooming in her stomach.
> 
> “No, I haven’t,” Regina smiled sheepishly. She felt a bit foolish to assume that they would be having dinner or anything. ‘This isn’t a date, this is not a date,’ she repeated to herself in her head.
> 
> “Excellent,” Regina smiled and clasped her hands in front of her. “I made lasagna if you would like to have dinner with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry this is so late! My life has been crazy hectic the past two weeks but things are looking like they're slowing down a bit so updates should go back to normal! To make it up to you, this chapter is a bit longer than the others!! Does that help??

“Come on,” Ruby whined, following Emma into her room. “You have to tell us.” Mary-Margaret just held up her hands in defense.

 

“Hey, if she wants to keep her secrets, let her,” she told Ruby even while she looked more than a little bit put out by it.

 

“Thank you MM,” Emma smiled gratefully at her friend. “Can’t you just help me pick out something to wear without interrogating me?” she asked Ruby.

 

Ruby huffed and plopped down onto Emma’s bed. “Fine. But how can I help if I don’t even know where you’re going? Is it fancy? Are you going to dinner?”

 

“It’s casual, I think. We’re…well I don’t know if we’re gonna have dinner or not. I’m just going over to her house,” Emma shrugged like this wasn’t as big of a deal as it really was. Ruby groaned in frustration and threw herself down so she was staring up at the ceiling but thankfully had enough self control to keep her questions to herself for now.

 

“Why not wear a dress?” Mary-Margaret asked. The girl gestured to her own pastel colored knee-length dress. Emma did her best not to smirk.

 

“Dresses aren’t really my thing.”

 

“Well you’re not wearing your red leather jacket,” she said firmly when Emma began pulling it out of the closet. Emma frowned slightly.

 

“But it’s cool!” she protested. Ruby’s snickers from her place on the bed quickly turned to a yelp when Emma threw a coat hanger at her.

 

“No, really it’s not,” Ruby grumbled, sitting up. She took in both of her roommate’s appearances and made a decision. “Okay. That’s it. Both of you out,” Ruby demanded. Emma and Mary-Margaret directed matching looks of confusion and annoyance at her but she just shooed them out. “I am going to find you the perfect outfit. Just say thank you when I’m done!”

 

The last thing Emma saw of her room before the door cut off her view was Ruby grinning at her from the doorway.

 

“Should I be nervous?” she asked Mary-Margaret.

 

“Probably,” was all the response she got.

* * *

Emma admired her reflection in Ruby’s floor length mirror. Her friend had dressed her in a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a red, form-fitting tank top with a black jacket over everything. The ensemble drew attention to all of her curvy parts in just the right way and the red stood out against Emma’s light skin and hair. In all honesty, Emma thought she looked pretty hot.

 

Ruby whistled lowly from her place on the bed. “Damn, Em. You look hot,” she grinned and twirled her finger to encourage Emma to turn around. Emma turned in a circle before coming back to face Ruby.

 

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” Emma smiled back confidently.

 

“Here, wait,” Ruby told her as she stood up from the bed. She reached behind Emma and brandished a tube of red lipstick that almost matched the color of the tank-top. “Open,” she commanded before she applied the dark lipstick to Emma’s lips.

 

Ruby stepped back to admire her handiwork. She made a thoughtful him before fluffing up and running her hands quickly through Emma’s hair to, Emma assumed, give it a more tousled look.

 

“Perfect.” Ruby turned Emma around by the shoulder so the blonde could get the full effect.

 

“You’re amazing,” Emma grinned at Ruby’s reflection and winked at Ruby’s reflection in the mirror.

 

Ruby laughed and slung her arm around Emma’s shoulders. “I know. Now go make an impression your date will _never_ forget.”

* * *

Regina’s head snapped up when the knock at the door broke her almost non-existent concentration. For twenty minutes she had been re-reading the same page of the book on her lap, on edge waiting for Emma to arrive.

 

Glancing at the time, she noticed that Emma was seven minutes late. In her attempts to distract herself she hadn't allowed herself to pay attention to the clock.

 

As she opened the door, she did her best to look annoyed rather than nervous. “Miss Swan, you’re-” The words died in her throat once she got a good look at Emma.

 

Regina’s jaw slackened as she took in Emma’s appearance. The blonde had generally come to class in hoodies and jeans that were at least a size bigger than the ones she was wearing at the moment. Her eyes immediately dropped to Emma’s lips which were enticingly red before raking slowly over the blonde’s body without any conscious effort.

 

“Uh, hey,” Emma smirked, setting her hands akimbo and knowingly giving Regina all the more opportunity to look at her. Once Regina realized she was staring, she fixed her gaze on Emma’s face.

 

“Hello, Miss Swan,” Regina greeted, managing to not blush just by the sheer force of her will. She stepped aside quickly to let Emma into her home.

 

As Emma passed by her, the blonde couldn’t help but comment, “Like what you see?” sounding a thousand times more confident than she felt. Regina chose not to answer her as she was suddenly distracted by the way Emma’s jeans outlined the curve of her ass.

 

“Have you-” Regina stopped because of the rough, slightly strained quality of her voice. She cleared her throat and continued. “Have you had dinner?”

 

Emma surveyed the large foyer she was standing in. The house was huge, way bigger than any home she had ever lived in. Most current apartment that she shared with two people could probably fit in the space of the foyer. Regina’s voice brought her thoughts back to the present situation, along with the butterflies blooming in her stomach.

 

“No, I haven’t,” Regina smiled sheepishly. She felt a bit foolish to assume that they would be having dinner or anything. _‘This isn’t a date, this is not a date,’_ she repeated to herself in her head.

 

 “Excellent,” Regina smiled and clasped her hands in front of her. “I made lasagna if you would like to have dinner with me.”

 

The offer allowed Emma to find her bravado again. “Are you asking?” she teased, her smile broadening when Regina’s lips twitched up.

 

“Miss Swan,” Regina began with a modicum of sternness in her voice to hide the pleased lilt.

 

Emma huffed and placed her hands on Regina’s shoulders. “I told you before. Call me Emma,” she hesitated for a second before continuing, “I like when you call me Emma.” She flushed at her admission but didn’t back away.

 

Regina nodded, affected by both Emma’s closeness and the warm feeling the blonde’s words called up in her. “Emma,” she smiled softly, acquiescing. She stepped back to put more space between them but that didn’t dim Emma’s brilliant smile when Regina said her name. “Come, sit,” she said and led the way into the dining room.

 

“Okay, Regina,” Emma grinned and had to bite back a pleased noise when Regina didn’t correct her.

 

“I’ll get the food,” Regina excused herself and went to the kitchen. Emma took the moment to just feel pleased that she was actually sitting in her professor’s house, that her crush on Regina was actually being returned. It wasn’t something she had thought was ever going to happen in a million years.

 

“What’s funny?” Regina asked as she swept back into the room, balancing plates in one hand and a casserole dish in the other. Emma hadn’t realized just how big her smile was before Regina pointed it out.

 

“Nothing,” Emma shook her head and reached for a bowl when Regina put them down. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re very welcome, “Regina smiled as she sat down across the table. Emma took a bite of the lasagna and made an almost obscenely positive noise in the back of her throat. “Do you like it?”

 

“God, yes. It’s amazing,” Emma praised. “I haven’t had anything this good in forever,” she continued before taking another hearty bite of food.

 

“I’m glad you think so,” Regina smiled softly. They ate the meal in relative silence. It was a comfortable sort of silence that suggested they were both just deep in thought.

 

When Regina wasn’t looking, Emma took to studying the older woman. Dressed in a pencil skirt and dark purple blouse, she didn’t look much different than she did every day at school. She seemed more relaxed here but that was to be expected. It felt odd thinking about Regina and school while she was at her house. Thinking of the woman across from her as her professor just seemed to put more distance between them. It’s not like they were really that much different. Emma had never asked but she didn’t think Regina could be much over thirty. At twenty-four, that wasn’t that substantial of an age difference. Her favorite thing about Regina’s appearance was the little scar on the brunette’s lip. If nothing else she could say that she had gotten the chance to know what it feels like to kiss that scar.

 

They made eye contact over the table, holding each other’s gaze for a few seconds. Emma looked away first, staring down at her plate as she finished eating. She could feel Regina’s eyes on her but she didn’t want to discourage her from looking.

 

When they were finished, Regina cleared their plates quickly. She shoved down the nerves that began to overwhelm her as Regina realized what was going to happen next. Despite it being her idea, she wasn’t keen on having this conversation.

 

“Do you want something to drink” Regina asked on her return to the dining room.

  
“No thanks,” Emma responded, shaking her head. Without any other excuse to stall for time, Regina resumed sitting, next to Emma this time rather than across the table.

 

“So,” Emma began with a nervous smile. Emma knew it wasn’t smart but she couldn’t let go of the hope that what Regina wanted to talk about would turn out to be good. “You wanted to talk?” Emma asked, her hands picking at the tablecloth as she spoke.

 

“Yes I do.” Regina did her best to channel the cool demeanor she adopted as a teacher. “I need you to understand that what you want to transpire between us…it’s not wise.” Emma’s tentative smile slid slowly from her face. “If anyone were to find out about even what happened at the bar, I could get fired and you could be expelled.” Regina hated that she was the reason for the sadness on Emma’s face. Still, she had to press on and say her piece. “There’s so much at stake, Emma. I know how hard you worked to get into college and I don’t want to jeopardize that or my job. I’m sorry.” It was not often that Regina apologized for the way she felt.

 

“I know,” Emma tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. “Can I saw something now?”

 

Regina knew she should say no, that letting Emma voice her opinion was only going to be bad for her resolve but the blonde looked so earnest she had to give her the chance. She nodded slowly, not trusting herself to speak.

 

“I’m graduating in three months. three months and then I won’t be your student anymore. I know it won’t be easy but I have feelings for you. And I know you feel _something_ otherwise you would have told me to get lost a long time ago.” She chuckled once before growing serious again. “But you didn’t. I want this and I’m pretty sure you do too. You’re just not used to taking risks and that’s okay. I can wait though. I’m usually not that patient but I think I could be. For you,” she finished with a hopeful smile.

 

Regina shook her head. “You shouldn’t have to wait. It would be better if we both just let this go.”

 

“Is that really what you think?” Emma demanded. “How would that be better?!”

 

Emma’s frustration bled over into her tone. “It’s not!” Regina took a deep breath to calm herself and sighed. This wasn’t how she had imagined this talk would go. It went much easier in her head. “But it’s safer.”

 

“Screw safety,” Emma told her softly but fiercely. “I don’t care what’s safe. I want to be with you, Regina.” Emma moved forward in her chair so their knees were touching. She leaned into Regina’s space but the brunette refused to move away. “I don’t care about anyone else’s opinions. It’s just you and me. If there wasn’t anything else, just us, would you want this?”

 

Regina’s, “Yes,” was soft but it was enough.

 

“So let’s just make it you and me,” Emma smiled and clasped Regina’s hand in her own. “We can go slow if you want and I meant it when I said I would wait but, I want this. Don’t you want this too?”

 

“Yes.” Regina was still unsure about everything, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to resist Emma for long and, if she was being honest, she really did not want to resist at all.


	6. Alcohol Is The Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well then there’s no reason to sit around moping about it for the next two days,” Ruby declared, the look on her face sending a bolt of trepidation down Emma’s spine. When Ruby got that particular frenzied glint in her eye it meant that the girl wasn’t going to stop until she achieved her goal. 
> 
> “Oh god…” Emma moaned, doing her best impression of a turtle and trying to hide herself in her blanket. 
> 
> “No, no, no,” Ruby grinned. “There is only one satisfaction guaranteed way to get you to stop thinking about your suddenly frigid love life. We,” she indicated the small group in the even smaller room, “are going to go out tonight. And you are going to have fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back from hiatus? It's me! I needed to take a break from writing with all of the stuff I had to do for school but I'm participating in Camp NaNoWriMo meaning I am contract bound (not really) to write 1,000 words a day or more, no exceptions. So because of that you can count on having a chapter out every couple of days! Exciting right? Hopefully I'll have this finished by the end of April with all of the words I'll be writing in the next few weeks :)

“Okay, what is your problem?” Ruby demanded, her hands set akimbo and glaring at Emma’s prone form on the couch.

 

Emma slumped further down into the cushions, watching Ruby make her way into the living room, closely followed by Mary-Margaret. The two planted themselves in front of the television in hopes that blocking the screen would get Emma to pay attention to them. The blonde had practically been living there for the past few days and they felt it was high time to figure out just what was wrong with their roommate.

 

Ruby dropped onto the armrest of the couch, practically sitting on Emma’s shoulder, and sighed dramatically. The disgruntled blonde scooted away with a huff. “You have to tell us what’s going on.”

 

“Nothing is going on,” Emma grumbled and clutched the half-eaten bag of chips to her chest. “I’m just tired. And bored.”

 

“For the past week?” Mary-Margaret asked softly. The placating tone of voice just grated on Emma’s nerves. So what if she’d been secluding herself in the darkened living room since Monday? So what if it was Friday and the most time she spent with either of her roommates was to eat dinner in silence? She was moping. Emma was allowed to mope every once in a while, especially when she had a very good reason to do so.

 

“Yeah?” Emma snapped back, more rudely than Mary-Margaret really deserved. “Sorry,” she sighed and pulled her blanket tighter around herself, doing her best to block out everything else that, as of yet, was doing nothing to make her feel any better.

 

“See? You’re not fine,” Ruby insisted. Emma glared at her but there was no venom in her gaze. When Ruby simply raised an eyebrow at her in response, Emma jammed the off button on the television remote and moved to get up. Dragging her blanket with her, she sidestepped Ruby in order to get to her room.

 

“Good for you for figuring that one out,” Emma retorted despondently. “That doesn’t change anything.”

 

“Whoa,” Ruby halted her, stepping into Emma’s path so she couldn’t leave. “Okay, so you admit something is wrong. Why won’t you tell us what’s up? We’re your friends, right? It’s not like we’re gonna judge you for anything.”

 

Emma curled farther in on herself in resignation. “So you know how I went to see that girl a couple weekends ago?” she prefaced, giving in to Ruby and Mary-Margaret. They were going to make her tell them what was up at some point. She might as well just deal with it.

 

“Yeah! You were really happy. You said it went well, though…” Mary-Margaret trailed off in confusion. Emma smiled but the edges of her mouth shook, belying any sense of happiness the action could convey.

 

“I was. It went really well. But we decided to take things slow for now and...” Emma sighted once again, running a hand over her face. “She’s kinda been ignoring me now. At first I just brushed it off like I was being clingy right? She said she needed to slow everything down and I just needed to back off. I figured that was normal or whatever.”

 

“And then what happened?” Ruby prompted her, not willing to let Emma retreat back into her shell before she got to the end of the story.

 

“Nothing’s happened! We haven’t spoken other than saying “hi” or other acquaintance level crap like that. When I said we could take things slow I didn’t really mean _dead stop_.” Emma punctuated the words with her hands, her limbs slicing dangerously through the air in the enclosed area.

 

“Have you talked to her about it?” Mary-Margaret asked sensibly, catching Emma’s hands in her own to stop the blonde from damaging anything or anyone.

 

“No…I haven’t gotten the chance.” And now I’m not gonna see her until after this weekend because there’s no chance of her actually texting me back or anything.” Okay so that might have been a bit of an exaggeration because Emma hadn’t actually tried texting or calling Regina. But if the brunette really wanted to talk to her she could make the effort. Or at least that’s how Emma was seeing it.

 

The truth was that Emma was terrified Regina had come to her senses or something. Maybe the older woman was looking for a way to let Emma down gently and the silence was her way of clueing Emma in. It wasn’t like Emma had all that much to offer Regina anyways. Even when Emma had finally gotten up the courage to go talk to Regina, her attempts were cut short by whatever excuse Regina made to get out of talking. The whole situation was maddening.

 

It felt like she was running in circles with Regina. They would take one step forward in their relationship and with their mutually destructive behavior or reservations and miscommunications they would force it two steps back. She never quite knew where she stood with Regina and that scared her more than anything else.

 

“Well then there’s no reason to sit around moping about it for the next two days,” Ruby declared, the look on her face sending a bolt of trepidation down Emma’s spine. When Ruby got that particular frenzied glint in her eye it meant that the girl wasn’t going to stop until she achieved her goal.

 

“Oh god…” Emma moaned, doing her best impression of a turtle and trying to hide herself in her blanket.

 

“No, no, no,” Ruby grinned. “There is only one satisfaction guaranteed way to get you to stop thinking about your suddenly frigid love life. We,” she indicated the small group in the even smaller room, “are going to go out tonight. And you are going to have _fun_.”

 

“Maybe I had better sit this one out…” Mary-Margaret hedged. The last time they went out as a group she ended up leaving with a guy named Victor from her organic chemistry class. It was her first, and last as of yet, one night stand and even though she barely remembered it, it was not an experience she was keen on repeating.

 

“Nope! All of us are going,” Ruby told her pointedly. “And we are all going to have a good time.”

 

Emma and Mary-Margaret just glanced at each other before realizing just how much of a lost cause it was.

 

“Fine,” Mary-Margaret gave in first. “But I am picking my own outfit this time.”

 

“Sure thing,” Ruby grinned, happy that she got her way. “But we’re gonna leave in the next hour! I am going to make absolutely sure you stop thinking about your mystery girl for at least one night, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Emma smiled reluctantly. Her friends might be relentless but it showed they cared. That was something she definitely needed after the past couple of weeks. So if Ruby’s way of showing it was to get her absolutely wasted, then she might as well prep for her first shot of the night.

 

While they got themselves dressed and made up, Mary-Margaret took it upon herself, as she so often did, to offer up some relationship advice.

 

“You really just have to talk to her. How else is she going to know that you want things to be different?” She held one dress to her body in front of the mirror before frowning and tossing it aside. “That’s how it is with David and me. We are very good at communicating.”

 

Emma knew Mary-Margaret was trying to help but it annoyed her to no end how the girl always managed to bring everything back to her relationship with her boyfriend of four months. Emma loved Mary-Margaret but the way she went on about David was maddening.

 

Still the advice was sound, even if Emma had tried it before. “I know. I’ve tried to but… everything is just not going the way it should.” It was far too resigned sounding for Emma’s tastes.

 

Mary-Margaret marched over to her and held her by the shoulders. “Okay what have you done with Emma Swan because she would not just sit back and let things happen. Especially is said things aren’t going the way she wants them to.” A soft smile spread over her best friend’s face. “You’re a do-er. And I can see you like this girl a lot. So you have to show her you want this too. You might make a fool of yourself but at least you’ll have tried, right?”

 

It was Emma’s turn to smile before she pulled Mary-Margaret into a brief hug. “Right. Thank you.” Her head felt clearer than it had in days and she regretted not opening up to her roommates sooner.

 

“Now get dressed before Ruby takes over everything,” Mary-Margaret encouraged her as she turned back to the mirror. “I don’t think she is going to let us stall very long.”

 

“No she definitely won’t,” Emma agreed before diving into her closet to find a suitable outfit for the evening.

* * *

The world would not stop tilting.

 

Emma knew she drank way too much at the club Ruby had dragged her to but she was too far gone to care. At this point she couldn’t even really remember why she wanted to go out tonight…or was it that she didn’t want to go? It didn’t matter either way because she had gone and she was trashed.

 

Holding herself up became a struggle very quickly as she and her roommates staggered up the steps to their second floor flat. She quickly learned of the difficulties stairs produced, gripping Mary-Margaret’s arm tightly to avoid falling over. It wasn’t easy but so far so good.

 

It seemed to take them an inordinate amount of time to complete their journey up the flight of stairs, not that Emma was in a position to judge time very well right then. Soon enough she found herself being pushed into the apartment with Ruby leading the way.

 

“Come on Ems,” Mary-Margaret slurred. She had to drag the blonde by her arm because once Emma had made it up the stairs she had slumped against the wall and tried to go to sleep.

 

“Wha-? Oh. Ha ha. Sorry,” Emma grinned. She managed to gain control of her motor functions enough to take most of her weight off the slighter brunette.

 

“I think,” Ruby declared as the door swung shut behind Emma, “that I’m going to have a night cap.” She was arguably the least drunk between the three, but there was no way any of them needed anything more in their systems.

 

“Nooooo,” Emma grunted, drawing the word out longer than necessary. “I wanna…” there was a long pause as her chin met her chest before jerking back up, “I’m gonna go t’ sleep…”

 

“You go,” Mary-Margaret told her, pushing her gently towards the back of the apartment. “I’m gon’ have just one more,” she decided, her grin emphasizing the rose tint her cheeks had taken on with the alcohol. Ruby looked thoroughly excited to have Mary-Margaret’s company for a little while longer. There was not a chance Emma could stay on her feet long enough to have another drink, though.

 

“G’ night,” Emma mumbled, flapping her hand uselessly in the air as she tripped her way down the hall and into her room.

 

Collapsing on the bed, Emma felt something digging into her side. She groped around until she located the offending object.

 

‘ _Oh yeah,_ ’ Emma thought when she remembered how she had been holding her cell after Mary-Margaret got tired of having her ask to put it in the girl’s purse. She couldn’t help but check it every few minutes. She had to make sure that she could answer if Regina was trying to call her or something else equally important came up.

 

Thinking of Regina brought Emma just the slightest bit of clarity. For the moment at least she recalled why she had been dragged out of the house in the first place. Frowning, she unlocked the device in her hands and checked for any missed calls or messages.

 

There was nothing in her inbox or call log, evoking a frustrated groan from the blonde. It wasn’t fair that Regina was just ignoring her. It’s not like there wasn’t something between them. Regina wanted things slow but…Emma had a say in things too right?

 

Plus, Regina was so pretty. And nice to talk to. And kiss. Emma just wanted to kiss her some more. Maybe if she told Regina, she wouldn’t be ignoring Emma so much.

 

Emma tapped the phone icon and scrolled to Regina’s contact. One press of her thumb and the dial tone was ringing in her ear, much more offensive than it would be at any other given moment in time.

 

**‘Hello.’**

“Heeeeeeey Regina! I-”

**‘You have reached the phone of Regina Mills. I cannot answer at the moment, but please leave a message and I will call you back as quickly as possible. Thank you.’**

 

Emma sighed happily as she waited for the voicemail greeting to end. Just hearing Regina’s voice was like balm on a wound. There was something about the quality of the brunette’s voice that made Emma want to only hear that for the rest of her life.

 

The beep jarred Emma out of her thoughts. It took her a second to realize why nothing but silence was coming from the phone, but she caught on quickly enough. Giggling to herself, Emma began slurring into her end of the phone.

 

“Heeeeeeey Regina…”

* * *

Emma was woken by the sound of someone moving around the apartment. The person had to be wearing steel shoes because everything was  _loud_ . Not even covering her head with the four pillows on her bed could muffle the offending noise.

 

“Holy hell,” she groaned, curling in on herself. Movement was not a wise choice. Nausea hit her like a freight train, but when Emma practically threw herself into the bathroom, nothing came up. At least that was one good thing.

 

“Emma, you up?”

 

Ruby’s far too awake and chipper voice filtered into the small bathroom. The limited space and tiled floor seemed to magnify her roommate’s voice to an ungodly level. “Uhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn,” was all Emma managed to say in return.

 

Poking her head in, Ruby frowned at Emma leaning against the side of the tub. “Here I brought you these.” Ruby dropped two pills into her hand and then followed up with a glass of water. Emma smiled weakly in thanks before downing both pills at once.

 

“This is your fault, Lucas,” she groaned, resting her aching head in her hands. Ruby didn’t seem to be affected at all by their night out. It simply wasn’t fair that the girl never seemed to get a hangover ever.

 

“I accept full responsibility and as such, I’ve made breakfast this morning,” Ruby declared proudly.

 

Emma eyed the toilet bowl wearily. “Oh god…I don’t know if I can keep anything down.”

 

“Come on. It’ll help.” Ruby seized her by the biceps and helped her stand up slowly. Emma groaned like a dying woman. Ruby just rolled her eyes good naturedly. “That’s it. Oh I am never letting you drink past your limit again.”

 

“I second that.”

 

The spread Ruby had set out looked heavenly; there were eggs, bacon, toast that was buttered heartily and a big glass of orange juice. Despite her trepidation, the moment Emma took her first bite she began to feel somewhat human again.

 

“This is amazing,” she muttered between mouthfuls. “Thanks, Rubes.”

 

“Aw don’t mention it,” Ruby grinned and munched happily on her own piece of toast.

 

Mary-Margaret shuffled down the hallway and into the kitchen at that moment, her face paler than normal and dark bags discoloring the skin under her eyes.

 

“Everything hurts,” she complained quietly and lowered herself carefully into one of the chairs around the table. Emma made a sympathetic noise and squeeze Mary-Margaret’s hand while Ruby grabbed her two Advils from the medicine cabinet. After making sure she swallowed the pills, Ruby set about making a plate for Mary-Margaret as well.

 

They ate in relative silence while they slowly recovered from the night out. Emma pushed her cleaned plate away from her, feeling immensely better. Her headache was still there but not nearly as bad and the nausea was gone completely. Stretching luxuriously she smiled at Ruby.

 

“So how long was it before you finally got to bed?” The question was innocent enough but Ruby knew what she was really asking.

 

“Too early,” Ruby sighed, glancing quickly at Mary-Margaret and back down to her plate.

 

“Are you kidding?” the other brunette asked. “There’s a good reason why I try to go to sleep before…what time did we get back? Three?”

 

“Yeah about then,” Ruby confirmed.

 

Mary-Margaret gave Emma a peculiar look before continuing. “I know you were up for a while after you went to bed.”

 

“What?”

 

“You were on the phone or something. You were talking to somebody,” Mary-Margaret shrugged.

 

Panic crept over Emma. She grabbed the phone and opened up her call log as quickly as she could. While she had no memory of making a call last night there was only one person she really had any reason to. Or at least, there was only one person she needed alcohol to have enough courage to call. And in her extremely uninhibited state, there’s no telling what she might have said.

 

Regina’s name sitting at the top of the screen confirmed her fears. That and the fact that the call lasted a full minute meant that she didn’t just get her voicemail and hang up. No she either talked to Regina or left a voicemail. At the moment Emma wasn’t entirely sure which one was worse.

 

What she did know was that she had no idea what she said to Regina and that thought alone was absolutely terrifying. There was also not a chance she would ever be able to actively try to find out because bringing it up would be even more mortifying.

 

Emma could only hope that she didn’t say anything too stupid and by Monday Regina would just forget that anything had happened.

 

Wishful thinking, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are wonderful!


	7. It Was Four In The Morning, It Should Have Come With A  Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting weird looks from a few of her classmates and with two minutes to spare, Emma finally entered the classroom. Not caring if she was making her discomfort painfully obvious, she walked quickly to a seat towards the back with her head ducked and her hair falling over her face. As she reached her seat, she couldn’t resist glancing towards the front of the classroom. Regina was watching her with an unreadable, painfully blank expression on her face. Emma blushed furiously, looking down and wishing she hadn’t looked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this the fastest I have ever updated anything in my entire life! Thank you NaNoWriMo! Title from Robots in Love by Beautiful Small Machines.

Emma was in an unrelenting state of terror over the weekend. While she had hoped the night out would do her good, it had done the exact opposite. She constantly felt sick to her stomach and barely had an appetite. Of course, to keep either Ruby or Mary-Margaret from asking questions, she pretended like everything was perfectly fine. No matter how hard she tried, though, couldn’t sit still or stop fidgeting the moment she tried to be still because when she did her mind came up with all of the ways Regina was probably reacting to her no doubt horridly embarrassing message. It was a disaster.

 

To make everything worse, she had mid-term exams in the coming up week. Emma couldn’t bring herself to study because she couldn’t focus long enough to do so. Her first one was, of course, English. Time seemed to move both way too slow and way too fast leading up to her Monday class. That had more to do with the fact that Emma wanted to avoid Regina forever and just get the inevitable confrontation over with all at the same time.

 

Still, despite Emma never wanting to face Regina again, Sunday night came and went without her permission. Emma got no sleep at all, not that she had expected to. She sat up for hours wondering what she said for the millionth time. Regina hadn’t contacted her once over the weekend, which didn’t lend to good thoughts. Forty-eight hours for her to think about what had happened was torture. She didn’t want to imagine how Regina had spent that time.

 

Emma did her best to act like nothing was wrong. She absolutely did not want Ruby or Mary-Margaret asking about it because then she would have to explain and it was so embarrassing not knowing what happened.

 

Walking into class was a trial. She lingered outside of the door for five minutes, trying to get up the nerve to walk in. The worst part was that she didn’t know if Regina was in there laughing at her or just flat out pissed at her. It was going to be one or the other. Emma was sure of that.

 

After getting weird looks from a few of her classmates and with two minutes to spare, Emma finally entered the classroom. Not caring if she was making her discomfort painfully obvious, she walked quickly to a seat towards the back with her head ducked and her hair falling over her face. As she reached her seat, she couldn’t resist glancing towards the front of the classroom. Regina was watching her with an unreadable, painfully blank expression on her face. Emma blushed furiously, looking down and wishing she hadn’t looked.

 

Once everyone found their seats, Regina stood up and addressed the class. She explained that they were taking their midterm and to come pick up a test on the table in front of her desk. Emma barely understood what Regina said.

 

Hearing Regina’s voice made Emma flinch as vague memories were called to the front of her mind from hearing it Friday night as well. She waited until there were enough people at the table before going up so she wouldn’t have to actually have to have contact with Regina. She knew she was being a coward but Emma didn’t have the guts to be anything else.

 

Taking the test took the entire two hours of class. Some people finished early and left. Despite Emma’s attempts to get out of there as quickly as possible, she was a slow test-taker and with five minutes left in the class she turned it in.

 

“Miss Swan.”

 

Emma slowly raised her eyes from the stack of papers to Regina’s expectant face.

 

“Yes, Professor Mills?” Emma couldn’t move with the way Regina was looking at her. Her expression was closed off, calculated so that no unwanted emotion could bleed through, and that alone left Emma quaking in her boots.

 

“If you don’t mind,” she began, her tone brokering no argument, “I need to speak with you after class.” That was entirely expected but Emma was so hoping Regina wouldn’t ask that of her. Still, she was in front of the rest of her classmates so she couldn’t very well say no.

 

“Of course, Professor Mills.” Emma gave her a tight lipped smile before hurrying back to her seat. She didn’t want to give Regina any more opportunity to ask her questions.

 

Five minutes went by in the space of one and soon everyone was shuffling their way out the door of the classroom. Emma didn’t move from her seat, looking down at her phone like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Like she didn’t feel Regina’s eyes boring holes into her from across the room.

 

“Emma,” Regina called out the moment the door swung shut behind the last student. Reluctantly, Emma lifted her head. Regina using her first name was a good sign but that didn’t really mean anything.

 

“Hey,” she sighed back, nervous and scared at the same time. It wasn’t a good combination and she felt more nauseas than on Saturday morning. When Regina didn’t say anything she grabbed her bag and slowly made her way up to her professor’s desk. Feigning nonchalance- as if she could possibly fool either of them at this point- she leaned against Regina’s desk and let her bag rest on her hip. “What did you, uh, what do you want to talk about?”

 

“I think you know.” Emma flinched.

 

There was no mistaking what Regina meant.  “Regina, I’m sorry. I-”

 

Regina’s eyes flashed at the apology. Her anger was obvious in the tense set of her jaw. “You completely overstepped your bounds.” The bluntness of the words was painful.

 

“I don’t even know what I said.” As if that made it any better. “I was really drunk and upset about you and…well that’s about it actually.”

 

“You don’t know?” That fact seemed to give Regina pause.

 

“Well no. I didn’t even remember making the call until my roommate brought it up. You were the last person I called so obviously…”

 

“Oh make no mistake you did call me that night. I answered the phone to you mumbling about how much you wanted to see me, among other more…inappropriate things.” Regina broke eye contact, looking about as uncomfortable as someone could be.

 

_Shit_. Regina wanted to take things slowly and evidently Emma had tried to have phone sex with her or something. She felt terrible and Regina was right to be upset with her. “I am _so_ sorry. I never should have called you. I’m such an idiot.”

 

“I told you I wanted to do this slowly.” The normally controlled tone wavered just for a moment. Emma realized that not only was Regina mad but she was also, at least a little bit, hurt.

 

“I know. I respect that, really I do. It’s just…hard. When I agreed to take things slowly I didn’t think that meant full stop.” Regina’s hands were resting on the desk top and Emma reached out slowly before covering one with her own. It was the only physical contact she’d had with Regina since that evening at Regina’s house. The fact that the older woman didn’t pull away was reassuring. “I still want to see you. Get to know you. That sort of thing.”

 

Regina nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.” Emma glanced at her in confusion. What on earth did Regina have to be sorry for? “I should have been clearer in what I needed.” The apology slipped easily from Regina’s lips. Emma had never seen her professor apologize for anything. “I would like to see you too.” Emma broke out into a smile for the first time that she could remember in over a week.

 

“Can I see you sometime this week? Outside of class I mean,” Emma clarified, not wanting to risk any miscommunication. She’d had enough of those for a little while.

 

Regina shook her head. “Not during the week. It’s hard right now with exams,” she explained. Thinking for a moment, she added, “Are you free Saturday night?”

 

Emma nodded eagerly. “Yes, I am.” She mentally discarded any previous engagements she might have had that night. Honestly, the only thing would have been something with Ruby and Mary-Margaret, but they could give her one night. “Absolutely.”

 

“Excellent.” A soft smile tugged at the corners of Regina’s lips but it stayed small and controlled. “Dinner then?” Suddenly Regina looked nervous, like Emma would say no. As if Emma even could say no to her.

 

“That sounds amazing,” Emma told her honestly. “I know this is hard for you and all-”

 

“Stop,” Regina commanded, holding up a hand. “I don’t want you to think I’m doing this as a favor, so please do not say thank you or any other variation thereupon.” The unthinking honesty in the statement made Emma smile. It showed that despite Regina’s need for some distance, she cared at least a little bit. That reassurance made Emma feel emboldened.

 

“Of course not,” Emma grinned. Moving closer to the other woman, Emma bit her lip to try to stop smiling like an idiot. “I would really like to kiss you now,” she confessed softly. It didn’t seem nearly as exciting as just kissing Regina but taking things slow meant giving Regina the option to say no.

 

The answer she got was not the one she was expecting. “Then what are you waiting for, Miss Swan?” There was a challenge in Regina’s eyes but also a…well not exactly a playfulness because that word was too childish to describe Regina. Whatever it was, it thrilled Emma to the core.

 

Without responding, Emma leaned forward across the desk and captured Regina’s lips with her own. The kiss was soft and unassuming with two people kissing solely for the purpose of doing so. Regina’s hand caught the back of Emma’s neck and held her there as they kissed.

 

Sighing softly, Emma leaned back and effectively broke the kiss. She could get lost in kissing Regina. Unfortunately, Ruby was expecting her and she was already a bit late for that. Resting her forehead against Regina’s she murmured, “I have to go.”

 

Regina made a vaguely disappointed sound and kissed Emma quickly once more before shoving lightly on the girl’s shoulders. “I’ll see you on Wednesday, then.”

 

“Until then,” Emma responded, walking backwards for a moment just to keep looking at Regina. Then she remembered what had happened the last time she had tried that in that particular classroom and turned to watch where she was walking, waving behind her back one last time.

 

By the time she caught up with Ruby she still hadn’t managed to wipe the happy smile off her face.

 

“What are you smiling about?” Emma just shook her head as she dropped into the seat next to her roommate. She picked up the menu in front of her just to give her something to do with her hands before she could put her head in them and sigh like a lovesick puppy.

 

“Nothing. I’ve just had a good day is all.”

* * *

The door clicked shut as Emma rounded the corner and away from Regina. She leaned back into her desk chair and pulled out her phone. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t tell Emma she left a voicemail and didn’t actually talk to her Friday night.

 

Well, she did know why. She didn’t want Emma to ask to hear the voicemail. Regina was certainly not about to listen to it with her.

 

Regina had listened to the thirty second recording on her own far too many times over the weekend. She made more calls to her voicemail in that period of time than she had in the past year. Calling it one more time, she resolved to delete the message once it was done.

 

**Please enter your passcode and press #**

 

Regina did so before the automated woman’s voice was done speaking.

 

**To change your personal settings, press 1. To listen to your saved messages, press 2. To hear other options, press 3.**

Biting down on her lip and feeling more vulnerable than she had in a very long time, Regina pressed down on the “2” key with more force than strictly necessary.

 

**First message sent Saturday March 22 at 3:36 AM**

**Heeeeey Regina! It’s me.  Why didn’t you answer? Don’t you wanna? I wanna talk t’ you. I miss you but you were here in the morning. Or yesterday? Ha ha ha. What does it matters? I wish you were right here. I’m really tired so we could cuddle for sleep. Mmmmm sleep. That’s good. I gotta do. I love you. G’night ‘Gina.**

**To delete this message, press 7. To save it in the archives, press 9. To hear more options, press 0.**

Regina rested her head in her hands, her finger lingering over the “7” key. The entire message was absolutely nonsensical. But then she heard Emma’s voice saying those three words plain as day like they didn’t mean anything at all. Those three words were the only moment of clarity in the whole thirty seconds.

 

**Message saved.**

 

The words terrified her but she couldn’t stop listening to them, on a loop in her head. The last time someone said that to her…she preferred not to think about that. And hearing Emma say them brought all of that back to the forefront of her mind. It made this thing with her so real.

 

Regina wanted them to be real. And that’s what scared her the most.


End file.
